Eat-Sleep-Love | Maryland DC & Virginia Sleep Coach, Baby Planner, Maternity & Child Consultant

Maternity & Parenting Center

Progress

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Today was a LONG day…Micah decided to wake up screaming at 5:00 am. Quite unusual for him, but his sleep habits lately have been a bit erratic. It is either from teething or because he senses some changes, but I have no idea! We tried bringing him into bed with us for a while, but Micah wanted to get up and play. By 6:00 or so, Elliot bit the bullet and agreed to let me sleep and bring Micah downstairs. I slept until about 8 and then joined them.

We took Micah to daycare after breakfast (and Micah was definitely difficult about breakfast again). It was a crazy day for me – we had a conference call for work at 11, and then I needed to go to my condo to wait for a cleaning service to clean the carpet and the HVAC repair guy to come and fix the broken AC. Luckily, the issue with the AC was fairly minor – apparently, one of the wires on the contact circuit burned out and just needed to be replaced. So, the AC is working again, the carpet is clean, and my condo is ready for sale! While we were waiting on the carpet cleaning, we had our architect come and meet us so we could review the bid from our contractor. We had a few questions we need to nail down, but we are in a good place, and we’ve okayed our architect to move forward and finalize things and start applying for permits!
When Micah got home from daycare, he wanted to play out back for a while – he was busy playing “basketball” – and he was just so cute!! He loves to throw the ball through the hoop and clap each and every time. We dragged him inside after 20 minutes to feed him dinner (I think Micah would live outside if he could). Unfortunately, he started to melt down while we tried to feed him dinner. He threw the chicken on the floor, and the cheerios, and he did not want to eat much fruit. He was just grumpy, and we were shocked that he refused the food. After a screaming fit, I decided that he was probably exhausted since he woke up at 5:00 am. We decided we would plop him in front of the tv to watch an episode of Word World before bed. At 7:45, Elliot took Micah upstairs for an early bath and bed. For the second night in a row, he screamed his head off at bedtime before crashing. I wish I knew what was going on with him!! Anyway, he has been sleeping soundly so far – I hope he is just exhausted and sleeps through the night tonight.
Things went pretty well for my mom today at her appointments. The good news is the gastroenterologist thinks he knows what is wrong and believes the issue is her stomach. The bad news is she has to go through several more tests to figure out how he wants to proceed with treating her, and it could be a bit of time before she really bounces back. She is having some other bloodwork done to see if there are any other crazy things going on that could be causing her exhaustion. Tomorrow she will go see her cardiologist and do a quick follow-up to make sure everything is in order. She has bloodwork and follow-up tests scheduled later this week, so hopefully she’ll get more answers and a plan of action by next week.
As for me…well, Twoey seems to be clawing her way out tonight. I’m having regular contractions and a lot of pain and pressure and tons of sharp stabbing pains. We’ll see if this is just another rough night or for real.

Crazy Day

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Wow…I’m exhausted. Micah woke up on the late side yesterday, and we did a mad dash to get hi to his art class before daycare…only to find out they canceled the class and forgot to tell us. We dropped him at daycare and came home. We got a bit of work done, but then we ran out to go to my condo to work on getting it ready for sale next week. We spent about an hour cleaning things out, then went to my my midwife appointment. The baby was doing well – I’m still 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced (or so). I was hoping for some more progress, but no such luck! I think she will be staying put for a little while longer. My belly was measuring around 35 weeks (I never got bigger than that with Micah). They did my group B strep test…let’s hope it comes back negative!

After the appointment, we came home. I finished putting a few things away, got a bit more work done, and then the architect and the builder came by. We talked about the new bid, finalized a few other pieces of information – and now we wait for a formal written bid (hopefully to come in on Monday). If the bid comes back as promised, we are all set to move forward and get these renovations on the road! Right after our meeting, Elliot ran out to pick Micah up from daycare. He did not nap at all yesterday, so cranky does not even begin to describe Micah’s mood last night. He was really difficult all through dinner, and we finally gave in and just put Sesame Street on for an hour before taking him upstairs for a bath and bedtime.

Micah woke a bit on the early side this morning (just before 8). He was still pretty cranky through breakfast, unfortunately. The babysitter, Christin, arrived at 9:00, and she helped keep him calm and get him dressed. My father showed up around 9:45 – it was the first day of the new semester of his Kidville classes, and unfortunately, I screwed up and scheduled an ultrasound during class. I wanted to go with Micah and Christin to show her the ropes, but I just couldn’t be in two places at once. My father volunteered to come down and go in with them so she would not have to do it on her own. Apparently, they had a great time – my father left the first class for a bit to run errands, but he was a huge help getting them down there and all settled into class.

While they were in class, Elliot and I went for the ultrasound. Twoey looked great…she is still head down. She was measuring at about 35 weeks (same as Micah at this point). They guestimated her weight at around 5 lbs 15 ozs (which I think is a bit smaller than they predicted for Micah at this point). I think she is going to be small like Micah. They confirmed a whole lot of hair again, too, so I think we are going to have another baby with crazy hair! She passed her biophysical profile with flying covers, scoring a perfect 8/8.

We made it home around 11:30. We scheduled Micah for back-to-back classes, so they did not come home until about 12:30. My father left and went about his day, and Christin fed Micah lunch. Our organizer, Leslie, showed up here around 12:00 – I immediately took her upstairs to help me finish digging out the bedroom. In the corner of the bedroom, I’ve had one last box that I never unpacked after we moved in, and a pile of a few other things. Since I gave up my office when we moved here, I don’t really have a place to store all of my papers and business items. Unfortunately, they’ve been getting a bit unwieldy. We sorted the box, sorted all of my papers, divided everything up for filing, and threw out several bags of unnecessary junk. I now have a space in the room to put a small dresser for Twoey’s clothing until we move into our bigger place. I feel SOOO much better to have unloaded a bit more (and Leslie also attacked Elliot’s half of the room and unloaded a bunch of his junk, too). So, things are looking up – we’ve significantly de-cluttered, which will make packing up to move MUCH easier (and I don’t have to feel like keeping the baby in our bedroom is a health hazard!).

Micah went down for his nap a little after 1:00 pm. While I was working with Leslie, Christin brought her friend Megan over (who previously babysat for us). Megan is thinking about changing her job, and might be interested in working for us as Micah and Twoey’s nanny beginning in September!! I’m so excited – if this works out, it really will be a great solution for us. She is responsible, good with children, and she is willing to work for a very reasonable amount of money since she is only 20 and has never been a nanny before (although she has TONS of babysitting experience). She would like to be a party planner when she “grows up” and my father has a lot of party planning connections (he owns a stationery business and does a lot of work in that field). We think we can hire her and help get her some internships/other part-time work in the party planning industry. Our hope is that she’ll work for us for two years full time (and maybe another year or so part-time), and that as our need decreases, we can slowly help her take off on the career of her dreams. Let’s see if this works out!

At 3:00, Leslie left. I was amazed at how much we accomplished in three hours. My mom normally comes on Thursday nights for date night, but she has had a rough week at work (and an unexpected trip to the dentist), so I told her she could take the night for herself if she needed it. She apologized, but decided to head home after work. I’m just so lucky she gives us as much time as she does! Since Christin is desperate for more hours and to earn more money, I asked her if she would mind staying later tonight. She happily agreed! When Micah woke up from his nap, she asked if she could take him over to her mom’s (Laura’s) house. Laura babysits my friend Niki and Eric’s kids on Thursdays (that is how I found Christin last year), and Micah loves playing with them and loves going to their house. I said it was fine, and off they went! They played in the baby pool, and played with trains. Christin called and asked if they could stay at Laura’s house through dinner, and I said that was fine. When they took off, Elliot and I decided to head back to my condo to finish emptying it and do all the touch-up painting that needed to be done. By the way, I love those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers – they did a great job removing all kinds of scuffs and issues. We stayed there for about 2 1/2 hours, decided not to do anything more for date night, then made it back here before Micah’s bedtime. We walked through the door, and Micah was sitting quietly, cuddling with Christin, and all dressed in his pajamas. We got to spend some time with him and put him to bed, so it was a nice evening. Christin took off after a VERY long day, but they both seemed to have a great time (and we managed to accomplish a lot today).

I can’t believe we still have another day left this week! I’m looking forward to the long weekend. We are going out to dinner on Saturday night with all of my cousins. We are thinking of having a few people over on Monday afternoon/evening for a Memorial Day….gathering. Very small and low-key, but hopefully it will be fun. We want to keep it small and simple (I am not up for working too hard…and I want to be able to easily cancel if I go into labor).

So…happy Memorial Day Weekend!!

Renovations Update

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I’ve spoken a lot about our home renovations, but have not had the opportunity to get specific. As you may have read here before, Elliot and I have had significant struggles trying to decide where to live. My first choice was to move – a bit further out into the suburbs so we could get a really nice, spacious house with a yard. Elliot wanted to live in the same area where we live now (where the lots are smaller, houses are smaller and older, and much more expensive). Long story short…we couldn’t seem to agree, so I gave in and agreed to do a renovation. Ultimately, I knew we had the baby coming, and I was afraid if I didn’t give in, we’d still be “discussing” it when the baby arrived we’d be in big trouble!

Elliot was convinced that we could add on all the rooms we wanted and have it done before the baby was born (I knew this would never happen, but I agreed anyway). We worked with an initial builder/architect team, and they gave us some nice plans…but it wasn’t what we wanted. The bedrooms were all way too small, they left a lot of under-utilized space, and for the amount they were charging, I truly felt we should be getting more. As I thought about it, I realized we could end up…stuck…in this house. While Elliot swears he’ll move in 5-7 years anywhere I want, I just don’t believe he’ll suddenly cooperate when the time comes (he promised he’d move anywhere I wanted this year, and he changed his tune this time, too). So, my feeling is if we are going to be stuck here, then this house better offer just about everything I could possibly want in a house, or I’d spend my life wishing we had done more with the renovations and regretting my decision to settle for less.

Ultimately, my goal was 3 bedrooms and an office upstairs (ideally 4 bedrooms plus an office, but I did not think that would be feasible). I wanted an eat-in kitchen, separate dining room, family room, living room and an office (Elliot and I both work from home, so we each need an office) on the main floor. I just wanted a bigger rec room area and some unfinished storage space in the basement. A garage and a bigger yard would have been nice, too, but hey, our lot is only 5200 square feet – I don’t see how we are going to grow more yard any time soon!

After having some challenges with our first builder/architect, we started to talk to another architect. We immediately liked his proposals, and decided to pursue working with him. We ran into one snag early on – the initial plan (a two story addition in the rear and a one story addition on the side) just wasn’t working out – we could not make the bedrooms adequate (even after the renovations, the bedrooms would barely be 8×9). After discussion with the builder, he told us it would only cost a bit more to do a two-story addition on both the back and side. We decided to bite the bullet and absorb the extra cost so we could have 4 good-sized bedrooms and an office upstairs.

As we moved forward and got to the point of finalizing the plans, the builder (who has been involved from the beginning to keep us on budget and inform us if the decisions we were making were increasing the budget) told us the current “bottom line” for the job – and we were shocked. Apparently, we were more than 20% over our budget. We knew we had increased the scope and our budget, but the final bid was way over where he indicated we would be. We spent several weeks trying to cut back on the expenses and figure out what inflated the budget, but the price just kept creeping up. It seemed that every time we agreed to cut something out, the cost of the project failed to drop accordingly – we were getting less and less for the same price. We were at an impasse…lots of money invested in the architectural fees, and not enough money to move forward with the project.

Our architect suggested we get another bid from a different builder. That bid just came back today, and it puts us 10% under our budget!! Not only that, it includes a few upgrades we had previously planned to give up (like a custom bathroom, hardwood floors, etc.). We are quite relieved – that gives us room for unexpected costs and some budget creep. So, I believe that we are ready to move forward – finalize the plans, file for permits, and get this show on the road. If all goes according to plan, we should be able to break ground in July or August. We are planning to put my condo on the market (hopefully sell before we break ground) and then move into an apartment for a few months during the renovations.

So, here it is…our home renovation plans. In 2008, we completely gutted the house – we re-studded and insulated the walls, removed a few walls to open up the floor plan, redid the kitchen and bathrooms. Currently, our house has 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms upstairs (we also converted one of the original 3 upstairs bedrooms into a master bathroom and a master bedroom closet). On the main floor, we have a kitchen, dining room (more like an eat-in kitchen), living room and a half bathroom. Downstairs, we have a utility room/laundry room, a small office with a bathroom, and a small rec room area. I have highlighted in yellow the areas that are the existing house – as you can see, we are putting an addition on all 3 levels off both the back of the house and the side of the house. Ambitious, isn’t it?

Here is our new proposed First Floor Plan (click on the pictures to enlarge them for a close-up look):


The only thing we will be changing in the existing part of the house is the stairwell. Right now, the stairs for the house are directly in front of the door when you enter the house. We will be moving those stairs to the back of the house in the new addition, and in place of the stairs we will have 2 closets – a coat closet and a food pantry. Additionally, the existing living room area will become our formal dining room.

We are making more significant changes on the second floor. In the existing part of the house, the new foyer and the new bedroom on the left are our existing Master Bedroom. The hallway bathroom in the existing section is our current master bathroom. That “new” bedroom will likely become a guest bedroom. The second “new” bedroom was formed from the existing stairs, existing hallway bathroom, our existing master bedroom closet, and the front half of Micah’s existing bedroom. The two closets in the back of that bedroom are the back half of Micah’s existing bedroom. We will be creating a brand new master bedroom/closet/bath on the side of the house, and the rear addition will give us another new bedroom (likely for the baby), an office, and the new stairs. Here is a draft of the second floor plans:


Finally, in the basement we are only making minor modifications to the existing area. The new laundry room area is where our current stairwell exists. We are simply bringing the washer and dryer out of the utility room and giving it its own space. We are leaving the rest of the basement as is, adding an unfinished storage area in the back, and a finished rec room area on the side. So, here are the basement plans:


I’m still dreading this project – I think it will easily take 6-9 months, and if our past experience is any indication, it could even take longer. I guess we’ll just have to make it work.

Whirlwind, 15 month checkup, Twoey

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What a crazy day we had today! Micah is not quite back on schedule yet since we changed to daylight savings time. Last night, he was exhausted but would not go to bed before 9:15. He was falling asleep, so we took him upstairs at 8 to give him a bath and put him to bed. When we put him in his crib, he started to wail. We gave him a while to calm down, but the poor thing worked himself up into a state of absolute hysteria. He just wanted more time to cuddle with Mommy. We ended up bringing him downstairs to cuddle and relax a bit. After another 40 minutes, Daddy was able to take him upstairs and put him to sleep. Not surprisingly, he slept until 9 am this morning.

Because Micah slept in, we were in a bit of a rush. We fed Micah a scrambled egg, cereal and a banana for breakfast. I quickly got him dressed and at 9:30, we raced off to class. Micah danced, played an instrument, and thoroughly enjoyed himself. By the end of class, he was clearly exhausted. We drove back home, and Micah immediately went down for his nap. I made a quick business conference call (it was insane here – the phone would not stop ringing, the cleaning lady showed up, the landscaper who was working on removing our broken trees/fallen fence damaged by the blizzards arrived to start working, and the architect showed up early for our meeting – I can multitask with the best, but this was a bit much!).

Our meeting with the architect was…frustrating. We were not pleased with some of the proposals, and any time we raised a concern, he kept telling us to “take a chill.” For me, that phrase was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. After a frustrating 2 hour meeting, we realized we were late for our doctor’s appointment with Micah. While trying to graciously throw out our architect, Elliot worked on waking Micah up from his nap while I quickly packed up a lunch for him. We raced off to our appointment and arrived about 10 or 15 minutes late…oops.

Micah was such a good boy at his 15 month checkup! The doctor was lovely (and he made sure to flirt with her). She kept telling us how sweet Micah is, and he showed off his walking and eating skills. She asked us about his language development and we discussed the kind of foods he eats (and doesn’t eat). She checked out his teeth (she admired his 6 teeth and told us it looks like there are another 2-6 on the way). We talked about the vaccinations and his sleep habits, and she told us Micah is doing very well. He weighed in at 20 lbs 9 ozs (3-5%) and he was 31 3/4 inches tall (50-75%). Micah got three vaccinations today – MMR, chicken pox and Hepatitis A. His first shot was in his left thigh – he looked a bit perturbed when the nurse stuck him, but he did not cry at all. When the nurse stuck him for the 2nd shot in his left arm, he again looked a bit surprised and maybe mildly annoyed, but he did not cry at all. The third and final shot was in his right arm. The nurse warned me that the shot would likely sting. She stuck him again, and once again, he seemed a bit irritated at her. When she actually started to push in the vaccine, he started to scream. He was MISERABLE, and I felt awful for him. It took us a bit to get him to calm back down again – actually, I bribed him with a carrot/apple crusher, and that seemed to soothe him.

We arrived back home just in time for the babysitter to arrive! Today, Micah’s babysitter from last summer, Christin, was home from college for Spring Break, and she agreed to come by to watch Micah while we went for an ultrasound. We also discussed re-hiring her for this summer, and she agreed! We are so excited that in May she will be working with us again on Tuesdays and Thursdays (and we may decide to add more days than that later). After catching up a bit, Elliot & I headed out for our ultrasound.

Today’s ultrasound was just a cervical length check. Last visit, my cervix measurements ranged from 3.3 – 3.7, with most of the measurements in the 3.5 or 3.6 range. Today, the measurements ranged from 3.0-3.3. In pregnancy, they like to see the cervix long and closed, and do not want to see the cervix drop below 3.0 cms. Once you fall below 3.0, you are in the “danger” zone. Naturally, when I saw that the measurement had dropped down to 3.0, I was a bit concerned. We met with the doctor to discuss the changes and my continued contractions. At this point, he is not ready to aggressively work to stop the contractions. He is hoping the shots will help a bit (although I’ve seen no evidence of that so far), but until my cervix falls below 3.0, he does not feel they are a cause for concern. My fibroids also grew a bit – he thinks the contractions and the size of the fibroids are related, and the fibroids may be why the shots do not seem to be reducing the contractions. For now, I am still not officially on bedrest, and he feels I am doing “great” for 26 weeks pregnant. He seems confident we will be able to keep Twoey in place long enough to finish baking…my concern is about how miserable things might get for me. I know…selfish. I just know that dealing with all those contractions and trips to labor and delivery and the medications and the bedrest was MISERABLE last time – it was a terrible 8 weeks. I’m dreading doing that all over again. I think the anticipation makes it worse – I know what to expect now. I really hope we can be more proactive and reduce the bedrest time. I wish I could say I left that appointment in good spirits…but I’m actually kind of dreading my next appointments and feel like bedrest is looming ahead. For now, I am going to try and enjoy what time I have left on my feet, and try to “take it easy” as much as I can.

After our appointment, we came back home. We found Micah and Christin playing outside and finishing up a walk. They had a wonderful time together! We came inside, said our goodbyes for now, and went back to playing. We fed Micah chicken nuggets for dinner. At first, he refused to even try it, but he eventually ate 2 of them and 1/2 a peanut butter sandwich. We decided it was a successful meal! Elliot headed off to a meeting, and Micah and I stayed behind to play before bedtime. He had been awake without a second nap since 1:00, so by 7:30 Micah was pretty cranky and grumpy. I picked him up and took him upstairs to change him into his pajamas. We cuddled for a bit, and right at 8:00, I put him to bed. For the second night in a row, Micah became hysterical – he did NOT like leaving the comfort of Mommy’s arms for that crib. He screamed for a while, and I eventually gave up and went and got him. He had a rough day – no sleep, vaccinations, etc. We came back downstairs and curled up on the couch together, Micah laying across me and sucking his thumb.

I had the television on with American Idol in the background. Micah LOVES American Idol. He was smiling at the songs, swaying back and forth to the music, and he even clapped a few times. When Casey came on, Micah sat right up and hopped off the couch. He reached into his basket and grabbed his kazoo and started to play along with Casey. He then started to mimic Casey’s guitar playing, and Micah did his own version of an “air guitar” – he strummed his belly! He was so cute dancing, playing the belly guitar and the kazoo, and clapping. Finally, at 9:15 I thought Micah was completely exhausted, so I took him upstairs and tried once again to put him to bed. I gave him a hug, told him night night and gently put him in the crib. I held his hand for a few minutes and kissed his forehead. I slowly pulled away and left. He fussed for a few minutes, but finally crashed for the night. I hope this grumpiness is just teething and that it will pass soon!

What a long day…I can’t believe it is only Tuesday.

Car Troubles, Daycare Woes, Renovations and Baby Update

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CAR TROUBLES

This is another long update…I’m woefully behind on my blogging activities. I thought I’d start off with an update about our car situation. The good news is, our “car troubles” are not mechanical. Three years ago, Elliot and I both needed new cars. Elliot had a 17 year old car that was falling apart (and unsafe for a family) and I had a leased vehicle that was reaching the end of the agreement. We did a lot of shopping and hunting and evaluations, and we decided to buy a Prius for Elliot and lease another vehicle for me. We wanted to have one smaller vehicle and one bigger vehicle, but we really did not know enough about our family-to-be to decide how BIG a second vehicle we needed. We decided to lease an SUV, and we got a great deal on a Lexus RX350.

So, here we are, three years later, and my lease is ending again at the end of the month. We have one child and one on the way, and we are fairly certain that our family will be “complete” once Twoey arrives. Elliot and I are back to car-shopping, but we do not seem to be on the same page this time. I tend to have a “mine” v. “yours” mentality about cars. I have a car and Elliot has a car, and we each primarily drive our own cars. When we go out as a family, we either take the car that makes the most sense, or we take the car of the person who will be driving. The bigger more comfortable car should be the one we use for family vacations. Elliot, however, has a different approach. He thinks the smaller more fuel efficient car (his) should be the primary car that we drive, and the bigger more comfortable car (mine) should only be driven when absolutely necessary. Elliot tends to bike and walk most places, and he has this knack for blocking my car into the driveway. As a result, I’m always the one driving his car, and I hardly ever get to drive my car. My car is 3 years old, and it has fewer than 12,000 miles on it!

Obviously, I want to get a car that I enjoy and DRIVE it. Elliot thinks we should get a minivan that mostly sits in the driveway and I should just drive his car unless he is using it (which would mean that sometimes I’d get stuck taking a big huge minivan into the city for meetings – I cringe when I envision trying to maneuver the minivan in a downtown garage). We’ve been looking at SUVs with a third row, minivans, and the same size SUV I am driving now. Most of the time, we do not need the space in a minivan. It would be nice if we could take my parents or friends out to dinner along with the kids in one car, or to have everyone together in one car for a vacation, or to possibly bring a babysitter with us on vacation. We will now be traveling with a double stroller, 2 pack-n-plays, and an assortment of other junk. We should be able to fit all of that in an SUV (without additional passengers). With all of that in mind, if we get the minivan, we will buy it, but if we get an SUV, we will likely lease again because we *may* want to get a minivan next time around.

Test driving is fun! My parents have helped out by babysitting Micah. On Sunday, we checked out three dealerships. We quickly stopped by the Volvo dealership to check out the Volvo XC90. We thought it was expensive, with limited features, and the third row would be impossible to access with two car seats strapped in the middle row. We decided to skip the test drive and we moved on to Honda. At Honda, we looked at the Pilot and the Odyssey. The Pilot (a 3 row SUV) was roomier than I expected. It would be possible to strap two car seats side-by-side in the middle row and leave the end seat open for a person to sit and access to the third row (although I am worried about the wisdom of putting the two kids so close together in the car – I have visions of Micah throwing his sippy cup at Twoey’s head, or reaching over and pinching her because he thinks it is funny). There are also latches in the back row, so it is safe to place a car seat in the third row if needed. The middle row slides forward and backward, and there was a fair amount of leg room for both the middle and third rows. Our biggest concern was that with the third row up, there was hardly any trunk space – we could never go on a trip with all three rows in use and fit in luggage, too. BUT, with the third seat flat, there was an amazing amount of trunk space. After examining the car, we took it for a test drive. The steering is power-assist and it feels a bit heavy. The car does feel much larger than I am accustomed to driving, but it was easy to park. I thought it was a bit sluggish on acceleration and definitely on the noisy side. All-in-all, it was better than I anticipated, but I’m still not sure that it is a car I want to be driving.

We then took a look at the Odyssey. I’m extremely hesitant about the concept of having a minivan right now, but I can absolutely see the benefits. The side door slides open and closed, and the seats were big, roomy and comfortable. The Odyssey only has room for two car seats in the middle row, and it is unlikely we would be able to fit a third person in between the car seats in the “mini” seat. If we leave the middle seat out, there is easy access to the third row, and easily room for 2-3 adults to sit in that third row. There are also latches for a third car seat in the rear row. Even with all three rows up and full, there is plenty of trunk space. The Odyssey was less noisy to drive than the Pilot, but felt like a huge boat to me and it was a bit difficult to park. The rear view mirror also seemed a bit small for the vehicle. We loved all the amenities, and I think it even handled a little better than the Pilot, but it, too, was a bit sluggish on acceleration.

Our next stop was at Toyota. Yes, I know a lot of people are worried about Toyota right now, but I’m not. I believe they are great and safe vehicles. As for the acceleration problem – well, I drove a 1984 Chevy Cavalier and it used to take off and accelerate without warning all the time, too. Not just my vehicle, but everyone I knew with the car. I feel like these issues have been going on in cars forever, and with the attention perhaps all vehicles will become safer. Chevy never admitted or fixed the problem, and I have to say I was relieved when my car was finally totaled in an accident. Okay – stepping off my soap box now :). We checked out the Highlander (SUV) and the Sienna (minivan). The Highlander handles nicely, but I did not think it offered anything better than my Lexus (which is essentially the same car). The third row was largely useless – it was small, it would be impossible to access with two car seats installed, and it left no trunk space when the seat was up. We quickly decided that the Highlander was not likely the right car for us. We then turned to the Sienna. It has some amazing amenities, and really had most of the same benefits as the Odyssey. The seats in the Odyssey looked more plush and comfortable than the Sienna. We LOVED the backup camera and the crash avoidance system, and it was loaded with all kinds of technology. It felt much smaller than the Odyssey when we were driving it, we thought the acceleration was a bit better, and the rear view mirror was a significant improvement over the Odyssey. There was also a storage pocket for the middle seat in the second row. Consequently, we decided that IF we get a minivan, we will likely get the Sienna over the Odyssey.

Last night was our date night, and before dinner, we went to test drive the Acura MDX. It is the luxury version of the Honda Pilot, but definitely smaller. We really liked the MDX – it handled well, it was loaded with amenities, and it was comfortable and spacious. We do think that, like all the other three row SUVs we have been trying, with two car seats installed, the third row is essentially rendered useless. In a pinch, we could pull out a car seat or try moving them next to one another to utilize the third row, but we would rarely actually do that. The MDX has more trunk space (with the third row flat) than my Lexus, and in theory we could utilize the third row when we need it. The biggest down side is the mileage – it is much worse than the Lexus without offering significant advantages.

We have a few other cars left to test drive. We are going to look at the Lexus 350 again and the hybrid version (the 450), and perhaps we’ll go look at the Mazda as well. Fuel efficiency is also key to Elliot, and pretty much all the cars we have looked at thus far are far less fuel efficient than my current Lexus. It may actually be worth it to us to sacrifice the moderate size advantage of the MDX for the fuel efficiency of the Lexus hybrid. So many decisions to make, and so little time! I really wish I knew what to do about the minivan v. SUV. If any of you out there have two kids and would like to give some advice/experiences, I’d love to hear it!

DAYCARE WOES

As you know, we’ve been struggling with how to handle child care with two children. Right now, Micah is in daycare three days each week. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, we try to balance the time between work and Micah. Most of the time, Micah wins that battle and very little work is accomplished (more so for me than for Elliot, but his work schedule is also affected). This has been a challenge trying to work full-time – we juggle our meetings, try to multi-task, we rely on my father and a babysitter to fill in hours for us on occasion, and we shift a significant amount of work to the evening hours. Next year, we planned to continue Micah in daycare three days a week, and he will also begin nursery school two mornings a week. I’m not sure how much additional time nursery school will give us for work – perhaps a few hours each on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

When we learned we were expecting a second baby, this threw a major wrench into our status quo. We decided to place Twoey on the wait list for the same daycare where we have Micah, and we began to discuss whether a nanny would make sense. Daycare here is EXTREMELY expensive. Full-time daycare for two children could easily cost more than most people make in a year, and is really not a reasonable option for us. Part-time daycare for two children would be a little more than half the cost of full-time, but Elliot is concerned about whether we can really sustain this schedule with our work (and with two kids). Our biggest problem is that we cannot figure out if we can find a nanny until we are much closer to a start date, but, unfortunately, we have to start making our choices now. Micah’s daycare requires us to commit to next year now. We have to sign an enrollment agreement for Micah by the end of this month, and once we sign that enrollment agreement, we are committed to next year. If we cancel any time from April through September 30, we forfeit our deposit (which is equal to a full month of daycare). If we cancel AFTER September 30, we can get our deposit back, but we must give 30 days written notice and pay for that final month (so we could give notice on October 1 and withdraw Micah from daycare as of November 1).

To add to our worry, we just got a call this week that Twoey has been accepted to daycare…as of September 1. We have to turn in our deposit and enrollment agreement for her as of March 31 (before she is even born!) to secure her spot. If I am not ready to send her to daycare in September, I have to pay to hold on to her spot (we were hoping to keep her out of daycare until January). So, we would be paying for four full months of daycare that we may not even use. If we cancel and pull them both out of daycare before September, it will cost us two deposits (the same as one month of daycare for two children).

While we are struggling with our decision about daycare, we are now revisiting the idea of a nanny (perhaps full-time). That would free up more hours for meetings and work, and I could also be more flexible with my down time – if I unexpectedly have a block of hours free on a Wednesday, I could choose to spend that time with one (or both) of the kids. My biggest fear is that we will pull Micah (and Twoey) out of daycare in favor of a nanny, but then we will not find a nanny situation that works for us and we will be…well, screwed!

When we checked into nannies the last time, we were concerned about the cost. A full-time nanny for one is significantly more than full-time daycare for one. However, a full-time nanny for two is about the same cost as a full-time nanny for one. There is a WIDE range of nanny rates. Nannies obtained through an agency are extremely well-qualified, but definitely out of our price range. Most of the other nannies in the area are quite expensive, but may be within the outer range of our budget. It is possible to find nannies who are less expensive, but many of them do not speak English well or may not be legal immigrants. We would love to find someone who is legal, speaks English well, and is wonderful with children. Even more, we would love to find someone who will work for a little less money than the going rate in our area. We would be willing to take fewer hours (maybe only 35) instead of the 45-50 most full-time nannies expect.

We have also considered getting an au pair. Au pairs are MUCH less expensive than in-home nannies, but they are young (usually 18 or 19) and they would have to live in the house with us. We are a bit uncomfortable with the idea of having a stranger live in our house with us, especially a teenage girl. Because of our living situation and restrictions on the age of the children au pairs are permitted to care for, we would likely not be able to get an au pair until January. I’ve heard a lot of drama stories about au pairs and the trouble they get into here in America and dating, and I’m just not sure I’m ready to be responsible for a teenager!

So…once again, we’re stressed about child care. Feel free to chime in and give opinions and suggestions!

RENOVATIONS

We have signed up with an architect and are now working on final plans to renovate our house. We are hoping to add a bedroom and an office upstairs, an office, a new living room and a new family room downstairs, and expand our basement. If all goes as planned, we hope to break ground in May and if everything is under cover, we *may* be able to move back to the house in September. The renovations will still be ongoing in the addition, but the work would be complete on the existing part of the house. I’m nervous about moving in May again, and we will have to move back only 4 or 5 months later with a newborn. What a mess!

TWOEY

This week, we had an appointment with the midwife and with the maternal fetal medicine specialist. I am 24 weeks pregnant now, and Twoey is doing great! She is growing right on target, and I’m hanging in there. I’m still dealing with morning sickness, and my weight is not increasing, but things are progressing well. My contractions have been a little better the past two weeks, and my cervix seems to be holding somewhat steady. It was 3.5-3.7 at 22 weeks, and it was in the 3.3-3.5 range at my last ultrasound.

We met with my primary doctor, and he would like to continue doing the cervical length checks every two weeks. He also thought that getting the P17 shots might not be a bad idea. He said he could not promise they would help, but they certainly couldn’t hurt. My insurance approved the shots and I am just waiting now for my first appointment. I’m extremely nervous – I’m nervous about the shots, I’m nervous about the pain, and I’m nervous about the side effects. I just wish I believed the shots would actually help.

So, here are the pictures we got from the ultrasound. The tech took most of the pictures in 3D, and we finally got a few good looks at her.

Flashing us a grin:

Some more face shots:





Sucking her thumb:

Showing her “girl” parts:

MICAH

Last, but certainly not least, is my update on Micah!! I’m amazed every day by how much he is growing and developing. He loves to play and laugh, and he just does such silly things all the time. He is not only walking everywhere, but he RUNS now, too. He is into everything, and just constantly busy. He spends most of his days trying to destroy the tupperware cabinet – walking through our house these days is like navigating a tupperware obstacle course. He talks all the time (although I understand very little of what he says). I love how he signs “more” and “all done” when we are feeding him. He is getting much better at communicating what he wants and I just love how happy and smiley he is all the time. He is such a wonderful child, and he brings joy to my life every moment of every day.

I have been working on trying to break out of our food rut and diversifying Micah’s meal options. Over the past few weeks, Micah has tried a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (he LOVES peanut butter), a cream cheese and jelly sandwich, a cream cheese and olive sandwich, fish sticks, a veggie hotdog, and cold cuts (turkey, chicken, bologna and corned beef). We have purchased arborio rice to make risotto (and then form them into cakes) and powdered mashed potatoes so we can make mashed potato cakes (I’ll mix in some veggies and cheese). We bought chicken fingers and some chicken tenders and fish so we can make more diverse dinner options for Micah. I have the ingredients for sweet and sour meatballs, and I plan to make that for him soon. We have tons of organic fruit leather for snacks, too. So far, he seems to be loving everything. I have even been trying to “spice” up some of our regular breakfasts. This week, I made apple blueberry cinnamon pancakes for Micah.

Apple Blueberry Cinnamon Pancakes:
Use a regular pancake mix – follow the instructions for mixing pancakes
Add 1/2 cup applesauce
Add 1/2 cup blueberries (can use fresh, frozen or dried)
Add 2 tsps cinnamon (or more for bigger batches)
Add 1 tsp vanilla
Mix and pour your pancakes on the griddle for cooking!

These were a big hit – Elliot loved them, too. We still serve the pancakes for Micah with yogurt and pureed fruit on top instead of syrup or honey, but maple syrup or honey would work great on top of these, too. I’ll have to do a picture post of Micah soon.

Last week, I met up with an old friend from high school, who happened to be in town with her new baby. We ended up shopping at the mall, and I went on my second shopping spree for baby clothing since Micah was born! I bought him a bunch of clothes on sale for the summer. The Children’s Place was running a HUGE sale – I got several shorts for about $4.80 each. I also bought him several things at Gymboree and there was a new store out of South Africa and I got him this adorable little track suit.

So…that is my update! Thanks for hanging in there.

New Shoes

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Yesterday was a fun day! It is so nice to be able to say that for a change. Micah had a bit of a rough night on Wednesday – it seems his top two teeth (that have been sitting just under the surface and visible for almost two months now) finally poked through! He woke up around 4:00 am crying, but quickly put himself back to sleep. At 5:30, he woke up crying again, so Elliot went in and gave him some Tylenol. Thankfully, he fell back to sleep again…and slept until 9:45!!

He woke up nice and cheery and cuddly. I gave him a bottle and made him French toast for breakfast. He really seems to love that. I put a touch of cinnamon and vanilla in the batter, and we used applesauce and organic strawberry jam to add a touch of flavor. Needless to say, naptime did not happen as planned at 10:30.

The architect arrived at 10:30. We sat down and discussed options, and I think we finally made a decision to go ahead with the renovations. I must admit – I’m not exactly thrilled about the decision. I would much prefer to just get rid of this house and move somewhere new. I think I’m about to go off on a tangent here and get away from the “fun” part of the day :).

If we renovate Elliot’s house, there are still a few basic problems. 1) The house is on an extremely small lot, and we will not have much of a backyard for our children (no swing set or jungle gym for them). 2) We cannot get all of the rooms we want. I could live with giving up some of those things if it was unreasonable, but for the money we have to spend, there is no reason we shouldn’t be able to get exactly what we want. 3) Even with the renovations, the rooms will be relatively small and our storage and closet space will be somewhat limited. 4) We will definitely not have a garage at this location (while not necessary, it really is something I prefer to have). 5) I think the current house is kind of ugly – and the renovations will not fix the “ugly” part for me. I also do not like that we are situated near a very busy street (dangerous for children and animals) without sidewalks. The street is narrow, so street parking for visitors is also a challenge. Our “view” also includes two very large apartment buildings and a fire house, which I feel are detractors from the “ambience.” Because of these shortcomings, I just am reluctant to renovate the house. Add to that, we’ll have to move 2 more times – and live in my condo (which is also too small) for another 6-9 months. We will have to be living in the condo with a new infant, and we’ll be moving with a baby that is a few months old. That is just a challenge in terms of space and exhaustion level. Did I mention that there are 40 steps to my front door at the condo? Imagine carrying an infant seat up and down that! And I’m worried about Micah falling down all those stairs, too.

As you may not know, if we decide to move, Elliot and I cannot agree on a location to live. Ironically, there is only a 3-4 mile difference between where he wants to live and where I want to live – and “compromise” does not seem feasible here (at least not for Elliot). Elliot insists on living within a few blocks of the metro (preferably the Bethesda metro) and wants the ability to bike downtown. That leaves us with a very small radius of “acceptable” and the homes are all quite small, on tiny lots, and very expensive. Any of the houses I want to live in that are in our price range are outside of Elliot’s desired living radius. I just can’t seem to convince Elliot to give in on any of his priorities and meet me halfway. He seems to think if he gives up any one of his priorities, then the living arrangement is unacceptable. It frustrates me, because he expects me to compromise on living environment, and he does not seem to think that is a significant compromise.

We went house hunting this past weekend – we saw one “perfect” house that I would love and he could manage the location (although not ideal for him), but it was absolutely outside our price range. We *might* be able to swing it with some fancy financial moves, but to me, it does not make sense to risk being that “house-poor” – what if we lose a job or have a family emergency? I just don’t want to worry that tragedy could cost us our house, too.

My proposal was to figure out how much it would cost us to stay, and figure out what house we could buy for the same amount of money. I suggested we add the cost of our current mortgage to the cost of the proposed renovations, and then add in the profit we would make by selling our house now. I suggested that total should be the maximum amount we should spend on any house (basically, we would be paying no more than the cost of renovating our existing house). Luckily, that gives us a pretty decent housing allowance – but not quite enough to get the house I think we need in the area Elliot wants to live. We are in a no-win situation! I just feel like I’m left without options – we have to do something to make room for Twoey, and if we wait any longer, we have a real problem. I think if I insist that we move, Elliot will be miserable and make me miserable. I’m hoping that if I give in here, perhaps he’ll be willing to move in 5 years and he’ll give me what I want (or be willing to compromise then). I just hope I’m making the right decision – because this process does not make me happy.

Okay – forgive my divergence! I’m now back to the “yesterday was fun” part of the post. After our meeting with the architect (and our long discussion that followed), we took Micah to his class at Kidville. Micah loves this class – called Run, Wiggle, Paint and Giggle! It is an hour long, and they have educational toys and “free play” time, followed by music/singing, then physical learning activities, then tactile/art time (they played with butcher paper). He loves to dance and play with the instruments. The hour passed quickly, and it was evident that Micah was exhausted without getting his morning nap. Unfortunately, we had one more errand to run – we needed to buy Micah shoes! Micah fell asleep on the way to the shoe store, but we woke him up and dragged him inside. We picked out a pair of these adorable brown suede walking shoes – they come up to his ankles. My little man has fairly small – but very WIDE – feet! He wore a size 4 double wide!! I love his adorable fat little feet :). By the way – many thanks to my parents, who paid for Micah’s first pair of shoes. I am fairly certain he’ll need one more pair, so we’ll go looking again over the next week. Baby shoes are more expensive than I expected, but it really is important to make sure they fit correctly. I’ve been shoving Micah’s feet into regular width shoes all this time, and that is not good for his feet or his walking development. Now that I have his shoe size and one properly fitting pair, I’ll go in search of a “bargain.”

We got home from shoe shopping and Micah took a nap. He only slept for about 1 hour, though – I had expected a much longer nap from him! Elliot went out to help the Red Cross deploy more support to Haiti while Micah was sleeping, but did not get home until Micah’s bed time. He went back out again around 10:00 pm and spent the night out working for Red Cross.

My grandmother seems to be holding her own. Yesterday was a good day, and I am hoping to get over there today and see her. I did not make it this morning yet – I fell down a flight of stairs last night and injured my ankle. Quite a good run of luck I’m having, huh?

The good and the bad

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I’m so sorry I’ve been quiet again. You see…I just didn’t know how to write this post. I’ve decided to just write it all out – the good and the bad. I keep spinning around in circles, wondering if I should lead with the good, then tell the bad, or perhaps I should get the bad things out first and end on a high note. For lack of a concrete decision, I guess I’m going to ramble a bit, and perhaps just share the events as they unfolded.

Back around June 29 last year, I started to write a post entitled “Bad things happen in threes.” I do not know how many people have heard this saying, but it always seems to ring true. When I started the post, Farah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Ed McMahon had just died. Shortly thereafter, Billy Mays died, and I was wondering what “bad” things were coming next. I do not remember what the remaining 2 things were…and I guess I just did not feel the need to talk about Farah, Michael, Ed or Billy.

But, back to the present. Last Saturday, we went to a first birthday party for Micah’s friend Owen. We met them in our breastfeeding support group – hard to imagine that a year has already passed and our boys are growing up. We had a great time playing and eating pizza. Micah showed off his walking skills, too. The following day, we had another birthday party for our friend Janice’s son, Andy, at a Gymboree. Micah was so funny, trying to walk around and play with the “big” kids. He had fun on the slide, he loved the singing and the parachute, and he was all over the place. He even sat at the table in a “real” chair (okay, a child-sized chair) and ate off a plate (well, he occasionally tried to dump the food on the floor). I intended to come home and blog about our fun party experiences, but I got a bit distracted by “Bad Things.”

Bad Thing #1: I guess the “bad things” started when I learned that my friend lost one of her precious twins – her son, Will – at 25 weeks pregnant. Like everyone else hearing this news, I was stunned. How could such an awful thing happen? I have been stunned that something so awful can happen. I do not even know how I could possibly comfort her during this time…but my heart aches for her. I have been thinking of her and her other precious twin Abby, and hoping that she remains strong and continues to grow and thrive. Even worse than how awful I feel for my friend – the selfish panic has a way of hitting home with me right now – at only 18 weeks pregnant. Yes, I said it – hearing of such a tragic loss became a selfish moment for me, too. I feel awful even saying that, but it has been sitting right there in the back of my head since I learned of this tragedy. I guess hearing that something so awful has happened to someone I care very much about is terrifying – it really made me think about how it could hit that close to home for me, too.

Bad Thing #2: Haiti. Need I say more? I just sit here, appalled every day that there is such devastation in Haiti. As you all know, Elliot works in emergency response, and he has spent much of his time since the earthquake planning logistics and getting equipment and supplies down to Haiti for Red Cross. He has helped several teams get off the ground (which involves several 4 am trips to the airport and countless hours of phone calls negotiating with airlines and TSA). I have to say, I do not understand why it is taking so long to truly provide the relief they need in Haiti. I am angry that so many have died during the earthquake, but I’m even angrier that perhaps tens of thousands are dying because they are buried beneath rubble and rescue teams have not gotten to them in time. What a terrible way to die – alive, trapped under rubble, waiting to die of starvation or dehydration. I’m shocked that survivors are starving to death because there is no food or water for them. I’m disgusted that doctors are choosing to amputate limbs to avoid infection because there are not enough antibiotics or sufficiently equipped ORs to provide better alternatives. I heard that at ONE facility alone, they are performing more than 70 amputations a day. I hurt knowing that despite all of the will in this world to help, send supplies, send rescue teams – we do not seem capable of fixing this with sufficient speed to save everyone.

A GOOD INTERLUDE…I’ve been fixating on the bad things, but somewhere in this week, I wanted to post about how much Micah has been growing and changing. He is truly walking now – he is on his feet more than he is crawling. His language skills are growing – he makes a sign for phone, he claps, he understands when I tell him to bring me something or throw me a ball, and he has started saying the word “ball.” I have some amazing video of him toddling all over the house! I’ll have to post some more video in a few days when I can focus on all of the good things.

BAD THING #3: Perhaps it was foreshadowing of things to come the following day, but we had a terrifying experience last Tuesday night. Micah was sitting on the couch with me, and as he always does, he crawled to the end of the couch by the arm. I was talking on the phone to my mother, and I had my hand resting on his feet. I thought I would feel him if he tried to push off to take a header off the couch, and that I would be able to pull him back or stop him. Yes, you can see where I am going with this. It all happened in an instant – so fast, and yet it was like watching a movie in slow motion. Somehow, without pushing off with his feet, Micah started to fall over the arm of the couch. I started to yell and dove after him, throwing the phone somewhere on the floor. I got to the arm of the couch and felt his legs brush through my hands as I missed grabbing him. I watched my sweet little baby boy land on his face on the floor…and then while his face was still down, I watched the rest of his body flip over, bending his neck almost 180 degrees before he landed flat on his back and his face popped up off the ground.

I know I stopped breathing for a second as I stood over his body. From the way his neck bent, for a moment I was certain he was either dead or paralyzed. I was afraid to grab him and move him – terrified that would make the injury worse. For a second, Micah did not move or make a sound. That was the longest moment I have ever endured. I have to say, the relief washed over me when he started screaming and moving – my first thought was that he was alive and not paralyzed. Since he was already moving wildly, I decided to gently pick him up and hold him. I quickly realized he could move all of his limbs and turn his head. He had a bad scrape on his nose and a bit of a red mark on his forehead. We immediately called the doctor to figure out if we should go to the emergency room. Micah quickly showed us that he was able to walk and was behaving normally. When the doctor called back, she assessed the situation and told us that it was unlikely he needed to go to the emergency room and be put through xrays. We kept him up another couple of hours before putting him to bed, and I checked on him throughout the night, terrified something bad would happen to him overnight. The next morning, Wednesday, Micah appeared no worse for the wear. He had a big red triangle on his nose – the kind kids get with a skinned knee. He looked a lot like Raggedy Andy!! But, much to my surprise, he did not even seem sore. I hated letting him out of my sight for a moment, but he insisted on running all over the place.

A few hours later on Wednesday morning, I got another call, while we were meeting with an architect to discuss possible renovations to our house. Round 2, Bad Thing #1: My grandmother fell and was being rushed to the hospital. My mother told me that the fall did not sound like a big deal, and they were merely sending her to the hospital as a precaution. When my mother got to the hospital, however, she called again – apparently, they suspected that my grandmother had fractured her skull, and her temporal artery burst. After they stitched her up and took xrays, they confirmed the fractured skull. She then had a CT scan, which identified 3 major bleeds in her brain, including one major bleed in her brain stem. They briefly discussed surgery, but my grandmother is 97 years old and she suffers from dementia. Surgery is traumatic – if she survived it at all, it would definitively cause a loss of function. Because of the dementia and her age, she is not a candidate for physical therapy to recover that loss of function. So, any surgery (if she survived) would likely have made things worse. Add to that, my grandmother was taking a medicine called Plavix, which is a blood thinner. Because of the Plavix, she has a difficult time clotting (making surgery dangerous and the bleeds unlikely to stop on their own). While we stopped giving her the Plavix, it takes about 10 days to fully leave the system. Ultimately, the doctor suggested we not operate and transfer her to hospice care. They seemed to think she only had a few days to live, at most.

This was devastating news. While my grandmother is 97 and suffers from dementia, and while we’ve realized she could die at any time for quite a while now, we just never envisioned this scenario. Elliot and I spent most of the day at the hospital with my family during all of this. After a number of hours, we got my grandmother’s transfer to a nursing home for hospice care approved. When the ambulance arrived, my mother drove ahead so that she would be there waiting for my grandmother when she arrived at the nursing home. As we prepared her for transport, she became increasingly agitated. She managed to pull the bandage off of her head (which was there to try and control some of the bleeding). She started yelling at the EMTs and she was very upset. At the last minute, I decided to ride in the ambulance with her, to help keep her calm. My grandmother often does not recognize me, but yet, she seems to respond to me. Perhaps it is because I call her Grammy so she knows I am family, or perhaps somewhere buried in her mind I am still familiar to her. Either way, I thought she needed me with her, so I hopped in the ambulance.

Unfortunately, I did not think about my terrible morning sickness, or how it is exacerbated by motion. Nor did I think about the fact it was rush hour and we were traveling 10 miles away. It was a VERY long trip – but I only threw up one time. I felt awful for the EMT – you should have seen the look on his face when I calmly asked him if he had a container I could use for vomiting. We arrived at the nursing home, and both my grandmother and I settled down. It was amazing how alert she was, and she appeared not to feel any pain!

The next day, Thursday, was Micah’s 13 month birthday! Elliot was up and out at 4:00 am again to help get a team and supplies out to Haiti, so I was on my own that morning. I should have posted something joyous here to mark the event – but I was finding it hard to celebrate with such sadness surrounding us. Thursday was not a good day for my grandmother. She just slept all day, and barely responded to anything. We were getting mixed signals all day from the hospice providers – one minute they said she was doing well and this was likely just a reaction to the prior day, the next minute they felt her bleed was getting worse and were not sure she was capable of swallowing food and water, the next minute the doctor was telling us she was in a coma and we should pull all food and water. At 9:30 pm, my mother and I made a run out to see my grandmother again. We thought it might be the end. We got there … and my grandmother woke up and chatted with us. We were angry at the doctor for his misinformation, but it was a good visit, and once again, I am so thankful that I had the time to talk with her and tell her that I love her.

On Friday, while my mom visited my grandmother in the morning, she was quite alert and responsive. My mother insisted they do a swallow test to determine what she was capable of eating, and she passed. I went out to visit later in the day. We insisted that they give her food and drink to keep her comfortable for as long as she can take it. Saturday, my grandmother seemed to be holding steady. Sunday was another good day, although I was unable to visit her.

We had a very busy day on Sunday. Micah had a bad night and ended up sleeping until almost 10:00. As a result, he missed his morning nap, and was like the energizer bunny! I decided that it was not appropriate to take him to the nursing home – he is too restless and wants to get into everything, and I just did not think it was a good idea to have him fussing or crawling on the floor while I was trying to sit with my grandmother. In the afternoon, my mom came over for a few hours to spend time with Micah. Elliot and I took advantage of the time and went house hunting. I’ve mentioned before that we only have 2 bedrooms in our current house – so we have a space issue when Twoey arrives. We are torn between putting on an addition and moving, and we just cannot make a decision. I’ll save that discussion for another post. Anyway, we looked at houses for a few hours and realized that we still do not know what to do. We got home around 4:00, just in time for Elliot’s brother Steven and niece Melissa to arrive. She is a college student, and headed off to South Africa for a semester abroad! She was leaving from Dulles, so they drove down for the flight out on Monday afternoon. It was a nice, but brief, visit.

(NOTE – Round 2, Bad Thing #2 – Another earthquake hits Guatemala and El Salvador). On Monday, much to everyone’s shock, my grandmother was stabilizing. The doctors kept telling us that they could not believe she was breathing and not in a coma with the extent of her brain bleed. And yet…there she was, chatting. She was definitely sleepy and her dementia was still an issue, but she was quite responsive to us – more chatty than she has been in a while. They got her up and bathed her, and they even put her in a wheelchair for a bit. We had a long discussion on Monday about finances – insurance coverage, Medicare, hospice services, etc. Unfortunately, because the doctors were certain she would not survive more than a few days, we did not keep her in the hospital for 3 days, so she is not eligible for some of the Medicare benefits (which makes a few things a bit sticky for us). We are trying to work around this glitch, but we hope to be able to keep my grandmother where she is for as long as she is with us.

After I got home from visiting my grandmother, we took Melissa to the airport. We got her to the airport in plenty of time (despite the fact we were pulled over on the way out for an expired tag – long story, but the tag is actually NOT expired, but we cannot get the new sticker to put on my license plate). Ironically, we ran into our friend, Bill, at the airport. Elliot & I actually met at Bill’s Superbowl Party in 2005. We offered Bill a ride home. Steven left as soon as we got back home. Micah was being cranky and refused to nap – it was a LONG day.

Today, however, was not as good a day for my grandmother. She is back to being very sleepy. She responds to my mother (I was not able to go visit today), but she has not been responding to any of the nurses or caretakers. She has been choking more during meals, which is dangerous for her, so we have had to pull back on what she is eating. It remains to be seen if she is just exhausted because she overdid it yesterday, or if this is the beginning of the decline we have been expecting. I am planning to go see her again tomorrow.

Another selfish moment … I have a huge conference for work next week. All week – Monday through Saturday. This is the most important event for me all year, and if I miss it, I would lose my job. I’m terrified that something will change (or, to be blunt, that my grandmother will die) while I am away at my conference. How am I supposed to choose between being there to support my mother during a terrible time and my job? I hope I do not have to find out.

So…that is the good and the bad. Once again, I’m left asking – what is Bad Thing #3? I wish there did not have to be anything else to complete this chain. I hate that bad things seem to come in threes. And I hate that there is so much sadness tainting all the good right now.

Fire!

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We had quite an adventure on Friday night. As you can tell from the title of this post, it involved fire. A small one. In the microwave.

As you know, we completely renovated our house last year. During that process, we purchased all new appliances, including a microwave. For the past few weeks, every time I used the microwave, I kept seeing some white steam/smoke coming out of the vent inside the microwave when I opened the door. Each and every time, there was no smell and the smoke quickly dissipated, so I assumed it was normal. Last night, however, DH decided to heat up his dinner in the microwave. I was sitting on the couch, and all of the sudden I heard DH exclaim “Oh, shit!!” As I always do, I assumed he did something dumb/absentminded . . . like turn on the wrong burner of the cooktop (remember Passover when he set fire to my beautiful apple charlotte?), or forgot to remove a paper label, or got distracted while the water pot boiled over. In my usual mocking tone, I turned and asked “What did you do this time?”

Much to my surprise, DH shouted that there was a fire in the microwave. I went running into the kitchen and there was smoke pouring out. We tried to look inside to figure out where the fire was and whether we could put it out ourselves or if we needed to dial 911 and go evacuate the baby quickly. I first assumed DH had just been cooking popcorn or his dinner too long and it caught fire. We quickly realized, however, that nothing INSIDE the microwave was on fire. Instead, the thick, white smoke was pouring out of the side vent of the microwave. We unplugged the microwave, and tried to touch the wall, unit, and cabinets to see if there was heat emanating from anywhere. The smoke slowly started to slow, and we were left with the rancid smell of an electrical fire. We turned on the exhaust vent, opened up the windows and doors, and decided we should call the non-emergency number at the local fire station.

About 5 minutes later, the fire squad showed up. All of them. We opened the front door, and they kept coming in . . . one after the other. I think there were ten guys who walked through the front door. For a non-emergency fire. It reminded me of a clown car, or one of those comedy routines where the person answering the door keeps trying to close it, and one more person suddenly appears, says hello, and enters. It must have been a slow night at the fire house!

They used a heat sensor to check out the walls and cabinets. There was a localized area of heat on the microwave, and they told us there were no active fires. They told us to keep an eye on it and make sure it continued to cool off, but that if we kept it unplugged it should be safe to leave where it is until a tech from GE comes out to replace it.

So, the good news is, we have a very responsive fire squad and there was no damage done to the walls or cabinets. We expect a tech from GE to come out on Thursday, and we’ll be asking for a new microwave! Good thing it is still under warranty.

Update

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I don’t exactly have much of an update right now . . . we are still having bedtime challenges. Micah seems to do better when we induce a food coma, so I’ve been nursing him until I have nothing left, and then supplementing him with a bottle of breast milk when he still seems to want more. It has left me wondering if he is really just hungry . . . perhaps he is not getting enough milk off of me during the day. He is still gaining weight at an unbelievable pace, but yet . . . I think these meltdowns are more than just “normal” baby things. Maybe he is getting enough to stave off the hunger during the day, but when bedtime comes around, the cumulative hunger hits and he melts down. I’m not exactly sure what to do . . . I guess I either have to try supplementing during the day, or working on increasing my supply so he can get another 1/2 ounce or so a feeding (I think that is all it would take).

I did check with the doctor . . . who said he is gaining weight normally and not to worry about it. And yet . . . I know my boy. He doesn’t generally cry and get fussy, and when he does, it means something is wrong. Now, if I can just figure out what.

In other news, we are more than halfway through the renovations to my condo, and we should be ready to put it on the market in about 4 weeks. I can’t believe how smoothly that is going (and we STILL haven’t finished renovations on our house . . . did I mention I still hate my contractor?)

Adventures in Traveling

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Friday morning, Elliot & I woke up to the contractors showing up 1 hour early. That NEVER happens! We were then trying to finish getting ready to leave with the contractors doing work. I told Elliot he should put his sandwich together, but, of course, he was too busy being lazy. We then were surprised by our insurance agent – we forgot we made an appointment with her. In the midst of all this chaos, we were trying to finish decorating a cake for my niece, Stephanie, since we were planning to head up to NJ for her bat mitzvah! We decided to keep it simple – a basic 9×13 inch cake with an edible image of her facebook page on top. Elliot wanted to help, so he started icing the cake – mistake #1. He had the cake upside down on the tray, and he got crumbs all over the icing :(. I was so frustrated – and didn’t have enough icing to fix the problem. We tried flipping the cake back, but it broke in half because of the weight of the icing. So, I was then sitting there trying to repair the cake. Then, I went downstairs to print out the image . . . and, naturally, the printer was out of ink! Elliot offered to help refill the cartridges – let’s just say, that was a disaster, too. Elliot took FOREVER – he spent most of the time looking for gloves. Something about Ellilot when we are on a very short time frame makes him slow down . . . he moves like molasses when I need him to hurry! After all of that, Elliot didn’t fill all the cartridges that needed to be refilled, so the printout looked terrible – the colors were all off. Even worse, it took him so long that the icing crusted, so I couldn’t get the icing sheet to attach. I was SOOOO frustrated!

We then had to take Nugget (I couldn’t leave her here with the contractors) up to my friend’s house so she could watch her for 1 hour while we had our ultrasound. The plan was to grab the dog then go straight to my brother’s house to drop her there overnight. As we were driving to the ultrasound, Elliot realized he forgot his phone. We were so late, we didn’t have a choice but to keep going. This little factoid becomes important later on . . . .

We arrived for our ultrasound about 10 minutes late – only to find that the doctor we were supposed to see had left a few minutes before – sick! The office was all backed up – we waited over 1 hour to get our ultrasound. We had a different tech again – and we have learned that some under-measure, and some over-measure. We had one with a generous hand – who informed me my cervix had grown larger than it had been even at 28 weeks (3.5 cm). That didn’t seem right to me, but it gave us our “green” light to go on our trip. We then met with the doctor, she re-measured some of the images, and said she thought the cervix was closer to 2.4 (which made more sense). Regardless, there were no signs of imminent labor, so we decided to head out for the weekend.

We stopped and picked up dog food, dropped my dog off with my brother and SIL, then went on our way. We arrived in decent time, and had dinner with the family. There was a bit of family drama (as usual) and then we had cake with everyone back at the hotel. My stomach was bothering me, and I was up pretty early not feeling well. When I finally got Elliot awake, he complained he wasn’t feeling well, either. I assumed he was playing the “me, too” card, and I was totally unsympathetic. We went to breakfast, and I could barely eat anything. I had 2 bites of oatmeal, 1 piece of scrambled egg, 3 frosted mini wheats, and a bite of the home fries.

We got back to the room, and I called my mom, who informed me she had been up all night puking. At that point, I realized that it was pretty likely we all caught a stomach bug from my niece (who was getting over a stomach bug on Thanksgiving). I no sooner hung up from my mother when I began puking. I spent the next 6 hours throwing up, with bouts of diarrhea thrown in the mix. It was NOT a fun day. The whole time, Elliot complained he wasn’t feeling well, and mostly slept. I realized I was having a lot of cramps and contractions, so we called the midwife. She suggested I drink more fluids and increase my meds, so I did. At 3:00, I decided to join my SIL, Jodi, for a manicure/pedicure (actually, I asked her to tell me where I should go to get one, and she offered to make the arrangements for me and keep me company). I was really feeling horrible – my stomach was out of control, and I realized I was having contractions every 4 minutes (and they were pretty intense).

Now, here is where things get interesting. Since Elliot forgot his phone at home, I gave him my cell phone to use while I was getting my nails done. I had my niece, Stephanie, send Elliot a text to tell him to get back to the hotel asap. We returned to the hotel, and I went to our room. I was waiting over 1 hour, and the contractions were getting worse, and Elliot still wasn’t back. I started to panic about having the baby there. I had no cell phone, and couldn’t call anyone, and he had the car with all of my hypnobirthing stuff in it, so I couldn’t even listen to my recordings and relax. I decided to call Jodi in the hotel, and ask her to hunt down her husband, Steven, and Elliot and get them back ASAP. When I called their room, Stephanie was FREAKING out about her bat mitzvah. I couldn’t get her to talk to me, and she threw the phone on the ground. I started getting mildly hysterical while trying (unsuccessfully) to calm her down. I finally spoke to Jodi (I had to insist) and she managed to get in touch with Elliot who was on his way back.

When he walked through the door, I LOST it. I told him what was going on with me, and at that point, he went to the bathroom and started throwing up. So, he wasn’t in any position to help me for a bit. I called the midwife, who told us I should go to the hospital to get IV fluids. She really felt that my contractions were induced by dehydration, not actual labor, but said that if we couldn’t get them to stop, it could cause my water to break. I knew I’d never leave the hospital if I went, so DH & I decided not to do that. When I was in the hospital at 28 weeks, I was able to avoid the IV by drinking 40 ozs of water in 30 minutes, so we decided to give that a try. I was taking my terbutaline every 3 hours, and I GUZZLED the water down. We got the contractions to slow a bit and lessen in intensity. We made the decision to get dressed, go to the bat mitzvah, and if everything held steady, we decided to head home right after the service and skip the party. We didn’t tell everyone exactly what was going on, but at 8:20, we were on the road back home.

Well, by this point, Elliot’s stomach issues were as bad as mine. AND, I was pumped full of water. Let’s just say we hit EVERY rest stop and hotel at every exit the entire way home – it made for a long trip. Elliot puked a few more times, we were both dealing with diarrhea, I had to pee every 5 minutes from all the water, and neither one of us had really eaten a meal since Friday night. It was NOT a pleasant ride home, but at least the traffic wasn’t terrible.

When we got home, we called the midwife, and she said I should keep taking the meds, see what happens, and call her in the morning. The contractions are still 4 minutes apart, but much less intense. I have not been able to get a hold of her today, so I’m not sure what is next. I don’t
know that it is worth it to keep taking the terbutaline for another 24 hours – I feel at this point it is more of a hindrance than a help since we can’t make the contractions stop. Regardless, I only have a few more doses left, then I stop and we have another appointment tomorrow morning. We’ll see if this baby decides to make an appearance this week!

So, after all of that, we did make it to the service, we dealt with a horrible stomach flu, and we didn’t get to stay and enjoy the food or the party. But, we did make it home safely, with only 2 of us in the car! I’m just so relieved to be back home again.