Today was insane. I believe the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That must be what I am doing…I keep thinking that somehow, the kids will cooperate, that everyone will nap at the same time, that the phone will stop ringing, that my fairy godmother will wave her magic wand…and that I will be able to magically tackle all of the tasks on my list while in a dress and singing to my talking animal friends. Okay, maybe not the magic wand or fairy princess part, but I do keep thinking I’ll finish my “to-do” list. I somehow thought that by coming home, life would settle down and become…maybe a bit boring. I thought with caretakers and babysitters I’d have hours of time to myself…time to rebuild my business, time to rest, time to catch up on the DVR. Apparently, I’m delusional, because I didn’t even have time to eat today!
Mom slept through the night last night…and so did the kids! Of course, I was up every hour or so checking monitors at some sound or another, mostly because I just couldn’t believe everyone was sleeping so soundly. Micah was the first one awake at 7:00 am. He spoke a few times (sounded like he was saying hi to his stuffed animals and asking for Elmo). I left him alone – I knew the minute he went screaming down the hallway with his toddler exuberance, there would be no more sleeping people in the house. By 7:30, Maya was making noise. I went in to get her and nurse, but I heard Mom calling for me at the same time. I asked Elliot to grab Maya while I went to my mother. I checked her blood sugar, gave her meds, got her some juice and water and a little granola to hold her until breakfast. I then went back to get Micah out of bed and nurse Maya.
I have to say, morning is NOT Elliot’s strength. I’m not a morning person, but he is just terrible in the mornings. He gets snappy and unhappy, and he does not understand why he should have to wake up and do…well, anything, most mornings. He grumbled something about Maya being cranky because I made him get her out of bed too soon, and something about Maya waking Micah (all wrong…he was just in the midst of a delusion that if I had not ruined his morning, the kids would have slept until noon).
I ran around like a crazed lunatic…trying to nurse Maya and make breakfast for Mom and Micah and search for Maya’s clothing (her basket of clothing has gone missing). Both of my parents had time to spend with Maya:
The phone was ringing off the hook with questions from nurses and Verizon and health care equipment companies. Betty arrived at 8:30, and I tried to take some time to give her a brief introduction/orientation while taking care of two screaming children. In the midst of all the madness, my father ran to the store…and I have no idea where Elliot was. I emptied the dishwasher and tried to empty a few more boxes in the kitchen and clear off the counter so that I could do some real cooking. Megan arrived at 9, and she helped get Micah ready and off to Kidville for his class.
While they were out, I started to work on cleaning up while Betty and my mother got to know each other. Unfortunately, Maya started screaming, and I had to divert my attention back to her. Then Betty had some questions for me about the routine and where things were located. Next thing I knew, there was a knock at the door…and the guy from the wheelchair company was here to see my mother’s chair. I have to say, he was not such a nice man. I asked him about my mother’s wheelchair and our impression that it was supposed to recline, and he nearly blew a gasket. He said no one told him about any reclining and if we didn’t like the chair, he’d return it and wouldn’t get us a new one (knowing full well he is the only person our insurance company authorizes to fit Mom for wheelchairs). We must have spent an hour or two discussing her wheelchair. In short, he basically told us we were S.O.L…they ordered this wheelchair, and there was no way to change the order.
After he left, it was time for lunch. My mom wanted peanut butter on a bagel (with a side order of pie and ice cream). Micah wanted…to throw his food on the floor. He got upset when he saw Grammy’s cup with a straw and he wanted one, too. I gave him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and he ate some of it. Right after lunch, Micah went down for his nap, and Maya was dozing on and off. I started to do some more cleaning…but the phone was ringing. We had all kinds of health care professionals calling us to make appointments with Mom and to be honest, my head was spinning and I didn’t have a chance to write it all down. Perhaps the best call of the day…a former client with a new project for me. I’m hoping that I can get things together in the next week and get back to working, because I really want to spend some time catching up on my work.
Suddenly, it was 2:00 pm, and my mom was thinking of taking a nap. She had mentioned that she also wanted to take a walk since she never made it outside yesterday. We decided that if we did not go out for our walk immediately, it was unlikely to happen at all. So, Betty, Mom and I bundled up and went for a short walk through the neighborhood.
I think we were gone for at least 30 minutes or so. When we returned, our friend, Joan Krauthamer, was there waiting for us!
Mom and Joan sat and chatted and caught up while Betty did some more unpacking and organizing in Mom’s room. Just as I was getting ready to do some more unpacking in the kitchen, the delivery guy from Apria Medical Equipment arrived. He needed to deliver a lift for Mom, and fix her bed and table. Not surprisingly, it turned into quite an ordeal. I think he was here for nearly two hours. Every time he thought he “fixed” the bed, we showed him that it was still broken. He was quite irritated, and after 3 attempts at fixing the bed, he finally replaced it. We had a minor snafu with the lift…first, we thought it wasn’t covered by insurance, so we nearly refused the delivery again. Once we clarified everything with the insurance company, he dragged it inside. As he was demonstrating how it worked…we realized it was broken! He had to drag that back outside again. Mom received a replacement table, too. By the time he left, he was quite irritated that the repair on Mom’s bed had taken such a long time. He and Betty were not getting along, so I ended up having to run in and mediate. At least he fixed the bed before he left!
Right after the guy from Apria left, Mom stretched out for a nap…only to have the woman from physical therapy come by at 4:30. They had a short session, but it seemed productive. Mom will have physical therapy three days each week – Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 9:00 am. She was tired, but she seemed excited to start her therapy. In the middle of all of this, Megan left for the day, and I went back to chasing two unhappy children while trying to observe Mom’s therapy. Around 5:00, my friend Betsy and her daughter Becca stopped in for a visit. Micah and Becca played a bit, but Micah was NOT playing nicely. I ran upstairs around 5:30 (while Elliot monitored Micah) to check on Mom and start to make dinner. I had the baby in tow some of the time, she napped a bit, and then my father took her for a while.
Unfortunately, it was nearly 6:00 before I managed to make any real progress with dinner. I was busy hunting for pots and pans and trying to clear space and carrying Micah – it was a disaster! It also turned out that we were nearly out of a few of the key ingredients…we barely had any artichoke hearts, and we were quite short on the bulghur wheat. I searched the cabinets to improvise, and I decided that quinoa was close enough. Unfortunately, I forgot that quinoa takes about 20 minutes to cook. Despite everything, dinner tasted good…just a little different from the norm. Micah was unwilling to eat much…but he spent the evening sucking down a delicious smoothie from Lorin. I figured it was a passable dinner…fruit and yogurt, right?
Mom was too tired to join us at the table for dinner, so we brought her dinner in bed. Immediately after dinner, she wanted ice cream and granola for dessert. It was about 8:15 pm when she was finally settling in for the evening, and she closed her eyes and napped for about 1 1/2 hours. I gave her evening medications at 10 and Betty cleaned Mom up and got her ready for bed by 10:30. All in all, I think our first day working with Betty was a success.
We did a bit more cleaning around the house. My father was trying his best to be helpful…but he decided to put my very expensive Calphalon pans in the dishwasher! So, now I’m going to be in the market for a new set of pans. I went in to cry to my mom briefly tonight…I just wish I had more time free to do what I need to do, and I wish that sometimes my father and Elliot don’t do things to “help” like ruin my pots. His heart was in the right place…but my pots were in the dishwasher :(.
After the kids were in bed (Elliot finally got Maya to sleep and in her crib around 10:30), Elliot and Dad decided to work on assembling a few toys for the kids that have been sitting in boxes for far too long – a step stool, a bench and a toy chest. It was kind of fun to watch them working together. My father always loves putting that stuff together, and they seemed to do a pretty good job working together. I think Micah is going to be thrilled tomorrow morning!
My Mom just woke up briefly around 1:15. She was uncomfortable and needed to be repositioned. I’m hoping that she will rest comfortably and sleep through the night. I’m looking around and thinking that I might need to go back to unpacking – I don’t think I’m going to have another quiet moment any time soon, and Patricia is supposed to be here in the morning to clean. Right now, she can’t possibly do much cleaning with all the boxes and mess! I’m so frustrated that I don’t seem to be able to make any real progress. I know I would feel so much better if the house was in order and I could find the things I need. I don’t know how, but I have to get the kitchen unpacked and my bedroom in order over the next few days. And I desperately need to find my contact lenses.
Uh oh…I think we’re in for a long night. I was just getting ready to hunt for my pump, but Maya woke up crying. I think she is not going to go back down any time soon. I just asked Elliot to go in there…I’ve noticed that both kids seem to go down faster if Elliot goes in during the middle of the night wakings than when I go in to cuddle them. I have no idea why, but it really makes a huge difference.
Tomorrow I’ve got preschool for Micah in the morning, and Patricia coming to clean. I think we have an appointment with the home health nurse, and I have no idea what other things I agreed to do! I’m supposed to go to a board meeting tomorrow night for BBYO, but I’m just not sure I’ll be able to make it yet. And what I’d REALLY like to do is to get up, go pamper myself with a massage (I’ve even got a gift certificate I can use), a manicure, and a pedicure, and come home to a fully unpacked house and a prepared dinner, then head out to meet some friends to play mah jong. Perhaps next Tuesday….