August 23…my birthday. Forever the day I will remember as the day I learned my mother had cancer. Once again, it was a long torturous day. My mother was sent in for more testing, and we spent all day waiting to talk to a doctor. I got a call from my friend Jen around 8:00 am with the recommendation from her neurosurgeons – skip the de-bulking surgery and go straight to radiation. I was devastated by that news – it sounded to me like they were saying my mother had no time left.
My brother had spent the night at my parents’ house with my father, and the two of them had arrived bright and early at the hospital at 6:00 am, hoping to catch Dr. Powers first thing in the morning while on rounds. Jeremy had run home the night before to put his daughters to bed before they left for vacation. He also canceled his trip to California and had packed all of his stuff so he could spend the week down in Rockville with us while they were out of town.
We were told Dr. Powers would be in around 9:30 or 10:00, so I raced over in the morning with the baby while our babysitter, Christin, took care of Micah, and Elliot took care of Maya. Around 11:30 or so, Elliot walked over to the hospital with the baby so I could nurse her again. He was only able to stay a short while because our babysitter had to leave at 1:00, so Elliot raced home to be with Micah and I kept Maya at the hospital. Our babysitter’s younger sister, Mackenzie, came to the hospital to sit with Maya while we continued to wait for the doctor. Over the course of the day, the Niedelmans and the Kayes stopped by again to visit (and found themselves on baby duty).
It was nearly 6:00 pm when Dr. Powers finally came in to speak to us. He very carefully informed us that my mom had a substantial tumor, likely cancerous. He talked about the different options, and suggested that debulking surgery would buy us some time. At that point, he suggested that we transfer her to Hopkins for the surgery. As he explained it, the surgeon was merely the “technician” in this circumstance…what mattered was the protocol, and the surgeons at Hopkins worked in tandem with the neuro-oncology team, and would understand how best to surgically lay the foundation for the oncologists to execute their job. He suggested we see a Dr. Brem who would work closely with Dr. Grossman, the oncologist. He set in motion the transfer to Hopkins, and back to waiting we went.
In honor of my birthday, Elliot had baked me a cake. We asked the nurse if we could put my mom in a chair and have her sit in the ICU waiting area with us so we could have dinner together, cake, and time with the grandchildren. Our WONDERFUL nurse arranged the entire evening! We ate some food from Panera, chocolate cake for dessert, and my mom was able to hold the kids on her lap and sit with us.
Amazingly through all of this, my mom was more herself than she had been in months. She was chatty, smiling, and her sense of humor was back. It was good to see my mom again, and despite the bad news of the day, it was a good birthday.