Today was my first “day off” since having Micah. I was SOOO excited to have a day for me, but I was also feeling a little guilty for being so excited at the same time.
Naturally, Micah had a horrible night Friday night. We are struggling with the swaddle . . . he is big enough and strong enough now that he has a tendency to break out of his swaddle and wake himself up . . . but if we don’t swaddle him, he can’t fall asleep or stay asleep. It’s quite a dilemma! Friday night, we tried to leave him unswaddled, but he couldn’t fall into a deep sleep. After about 2 hours of running up every 10-20 minutes to adjust him and put in his paci, we decided to swaddle him. Off he went to sleep . . . until about 4:00 am (right as I was trying to fall asleep). Once again, he slid down the incline sleeper, so we had to go in and raise him back up. Of course, once we readjusted him, he was restless and tried to break out of his swaddle. We had another one or two trips in to re-swaddle him and re-insert the paci, but by 4:30, Elliot was unconscious. At 5:00 in the morning, I was ready to tear my hair out because I still had not had the opportunity to doze off yet and Micah was apparently wide awake. I decided to grab the incline sleeper and try and bring him into bed with us. I left his arms free, and tried to go to sleep.
No such luck – Micah was decidedly awake and unhappy. I thought that perhaps he realized he was hungry once he woke up, so I nursed him. About 5 minutes later, he was sound asleep. It took me another 15-20 mins, but I moved him to the sleeper, and off to sleep I went. Right on cue at 6:00 am (about 10 minutes after I’d FINALLY fallen asleep), Micah woke up again. Since he was in bed with us, I had no luck just popping the pacifier back in and hoping he’d fall back to sleep. So, I nursed him again, this time a full feeding. Unfortunately, after he ate, Micah wanted to play. He was happy and smiling, as long as I was up and talking to him. I, of course, was exhausted – that is my sleepiest time of day, and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. Over the next hour, Micah managed to dirty 2 diapers and keep me grudgingly awake. I woke Elliot up to take care of one of the diapers, but he could barely function. I finally got Micah back to sleep around 7, dozed off myself around 7:30, and Micah woke up at 7:45, ready to eat again! I tried putting him off for 15 minutes, but finally gave up and nursed him again just before 8:00. It was clear Micah was wide awake, so I brought him to his bedroom, changed ANOTHER dirty diaper, got him dressed, and brought him downstairs. We played and sang and cuddled (and changed another 2 dirty diapers), and around 9:00 he started to get sleepy. I placed him in the swing, and off to sleep he went for about 30 minutes.
In that time, I took my meds, made breakfast, and got together all of the supplies Elliot needed for the day and walked the dog. At 9:30, I took Micah, played with him, and woke Elliot to get ready. Elliot made it downstairs just after 10, and off they went to services. I had just enough time to get myself ready and head out for my day.
I ran up to the framing store to get Elliot’s autograped Peter Max re-framed (a belated Chanukah gift for him). I then went to my condo to meet the contractor to discuss the work we are having done there. Then, I came running back here to meet my friend to go out to celebrate her birthday! We went to the local crepe shop, and we shared strawberry and chocolate crepes . . . YUM! It is a little tradition we have shared for many, many years. After the crepes, I took a brief pumping break, and then we went to see Slumdog Millionaire. It was a wonderful movie! It was the first time I’ve been able to enjoy a movie since before Micah was born (with all the contractions and UTIs, I couldn’t sit still at a movie). After the movie, I headed back home, pumped again, and then got some cuddle time with my Micah. All-in-all, it was a great day, and definitely gave me a bit of freedom.
The pumping didn’t go quite as well as I had hoped – Micah ate 11.5 ounces while I was out, and I only managed to pump 7.5 ounces. I have heard that pumping takes time . . . my body might respond better if I developed a consistent pumping schedule for a few weeks, but I guess I’m not ready to risk that. Perhaps when I am ready to give up breastfeeding, I could try that out. In the meantime, I am trying to sneak in an extra pumping session tonight to make up for the “lost” 4 ounces – I’m so afraid of my supply crashing! Tomorrow, Elliot & I are going to see a performance of Mask & Whig group he used to perform with back when he was in college. My mom is kind enough to babysit for us! I’ll have to pump again in there, and I hope that I don’t cause supply problems doing all of this. I wish I was more of a “fountain” and could pump a ton every time I sat down. I may need to try renting the hospital grade pump again to see if that helps. In the meantime, I think getting away for a bit was an important step. Micah was so happy to see me when I came home, DH got to have some great bonding time with him, and I had a chance to miss him terribly while I was out recharging and paying attention to me.
Goal for next week – get a manicure and a pedicure. . . . and maybe a massage. And perhaps I should pick one or two days every week when I pump and hand Micah off to someone else.