Yes, it is true. . . I am officially a hypnosis dropout. I am a bit torn right now – I keep vacillating between thinking I’m a quitter and the certainty that I did the right thing. I think I made the right decision. I just felt that this “doctor” was a total quack, and the process wasn’t working for me. I tried very hard to be open-minded, but her techniques just weren’t working for me. She spent a lot of time having me repeat phrases that basically boiled down to “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.” In case you haven’t noticed – I don’t have a self-confidence problem. Even more than that – I honestly don’t care if someone doesn’t like me. I generally see that as their personality failure.
She spent the first 35 minutes of the session today lecturing me about the conscious mind v. the subconscious mind, and she must have thrown about 50 bad analogies at me. I spent the whole time thinking “let’s get on with it.” I understood her point – fears are rooted in the subconscious. We build perceptions (sometimes false) based on our experiences, and then we develop subconscious behaviors/emotional reactions in response to the perceptions we create. I think that point did not warrant 35 minutes of lecture, but then again, perhaps her other patients are a bit dim-witted. My response was . . . fine – how do you change the emotional reactions? What steps would we be taking to accomplish that goal. She then started to give me another analogy, and then told me it was like making a pee-pee or a poo-poo on the potty – you just have to let it go. Yup, she said that to me. Did she think I am two years old?
So, after asking her to speak to me like an adult and to drop the potty training analogies, I stayed on for ANOTHER 20 minutes trying to do the session. We got nowhere. She did not try to talk to me about my responses to a needle situation, or how to let it go, or give me coping techniques, or anything like that. She suggested that I repeat phrases like “it is okay to be afraid” and she suggested I hit my emotions out in a pillow to release my spirit. I know it is okay to be afraid – however, I can’t seem to figure out how to get beyond the fear and passively let a medical professional stick an IV in my arm when I need it. Hitting a pillow isn’t going to change that. I have an irrational fear, I know the root cause, and none of that seems to change the panicky feeling I get when in a needle situation, and no one has yet told me what I can do to stop or control that response, or to create a new response.
I finally had enough of the crap, and when she told me I needed to be willing to make a poo-poo on the potty, I thanked her for her time and left. Besides . . . I had some errands to run so I can make and decorate a cake for my niece’s birthday this weekend!
I have no idea what is next for me. I am certain I will probably slug any phlebotomist that tries to put an IV in me when I go into labor. The odds of me slugging him/her will go down if we can use a topical anesthetic to numb it first. It will completely disappear if they dose me with laughing gas. So . . . I’m going to request the laughing gas – I think it is safer for all involved.
Feel free to suggest other options . . . because I’m thinking that my next best bet is to explore other options beyond IV antibiotics.